Wish I'd Said It

Weeds are flowers too - once you get to know them.

- A. A. Milne

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Still Alive - Still Not Funny (#245)

A couple of months ago, a friend wrote that while she enjoyed the pics I posted in my Canon Fodder blog, she missed my writing. Especially from way-in-the-long-ago when I used to be funny. As a reminder, she pointed to the sample column on my website - posted half an eon or so ago. I hadn't read it in several years so I went to the site and, despite sore lips from tackling the sports pages the night before, I perused the whole darn thing.

Yep. Not much doubt. I used to be funny. In case that posted piece was a fluke, I checked a few other oldies. (Hilary was kind enough to compile my first few years' worth of columns into a book, so the checking was pretty easy.)

Muttering, reading, and flicking pages, there was no denying it: that Frank Baron was an amusing dude.

Concerned, I turned to the people who know and love me best.

"Son #1, when's the last time you thought I was funny?"

"Looking? I'd have to say now. Ha-ha-ha!"

I should have known better and turned to Son #2. Same question.

"You mean funny looking? Right now! Ha-ha-ha!"

 Strange how some apples roll quite a distance from the tree.

 I could depend on Hil, pretty sure. "Hil, think before you answer: When's the last time you thought I was funny?"

"Um...I guess it was this morning when you were sleeping. Your hair was sticking straight up on one side and drool was puddling into your beard. Although ... that wasn't as funny as yesterday when you tried to button up that old jean jacket. You looked like a blue sausage! Ha-ha-ha!"

Now, I didn't just tumble off the turnip truck yesterday. I'm not as dumb as some people, probably. And if nothing else, even though I may have lost my sense of humour, I still have the hard-won maturity that comes part and parcel with 61 years on the planet. In other words, I can accept reality.

So folks, if you want a chuckle from me, drop me a line and I'll send you a photo.


 - We're still looking for a waterfront home. We thought we found one last month but it didn't work out. We're checking out a couple of new possibles next week.

- Remember when I was trying to lure you folks to the message board I set up? Well, I'm still in lure-mode. Some of you have joined. Some of you visit as "guests." But MOST of you are still reluctant to check it out. Consider this a nudge. (The full-fledged, all-out whining, begging, guilt-tripping and crying will occur when we're settled in the new place.)

All you need do is visit http://www.runboard.com. To join, just make up a user name and password. (I use my real name there but most folks use a nickname.) Once you've joined the overall Runboard community, you can visit any of the message boards set up there, including The Nest. The URL for it is: http://bwritersnest.runboard.com/

I hope to see you there.


Unknown said...

Mutate or die, right?
Besides, shouldn't be wagering on Breeders' Cup?

Reb said...

I thought this post was at least as amusing as the sample one you linked to. Whatdayawant - fries with that?

Hilary said...

Yeah, I remember when you went with self-deprecating faux conversations for humour. Too bad you've resorted to truth. ;)

Tabor said...

First, I thought message boards...like bulletin boards...were retro. Second how is that place different from this place? Third, how is that place similar to this place? And finally, why would I want to register there...what is in it for me?

Skunkfeathers said...

Frank, just keep doing what you do. The laughs will come.

And when they do, tell me what you did...I'm still looking for where my funny bone went ;-)

Leah J. Utas said...

Frank, I think you're hilarious and I've never even seen you! Nyuck nyuck. (Sorry.)

Seriously, you're a solid, amusing writer and I wish you posted more often.

Red said...

Well, Frank, I'm just glad to see you post. Yes I do enjoy your sense of humor. It gets better as time goes on. I speak from the experience of 73!

messymimi said...

Well, i like you, and i'll try to get over to that board. Most of my online time is spent on a board i help moderate, though.

June said...

"...the hard-won maturity that comes part and parcel with 61 years on the planet."
I'm sixty-one as well.
We have hard-won maturity?
I'm glad to know that. I'll try to quote you tomorrow at work.

Ruth Cooke said...

@ Leah: I think he's hilarious, and I've met him in person. :)

I agree Frank -- this column is vintage Frank. More!

As for the message board, I haven't actually been frequenting any message boards recently -- I'm in full-out introvert mode and have been for a while. But I still enjoy reading blog posts, and I love looking at pictures. So post on!

ellen abbott said...

you made me laugh.

Dawn Wilson said...

Nice to see some writing from you, Frank. You're still a funny guy. :)

Frank Baron said...

- Pam, that's right. Although now...the T-shirt rights might not be worth quite what I'd hoped... ;)

- Thanks, Reb. And godblessya for risking your lips' health like that by reading both the darn things.

- I know, Hil. It's risky but as you well know - I'm a guy that likes the view from the edge. (As long as I'm tied to something substantial.)

- Good questions all, Tabor. And worthy of answers. Drop me your email at frank(at)frankbaron.com (you know what to do with that (at)) and I'll be happy to answer them. :)

- Thanks, Skunky. And thanks for trying to make me feel better by fibbing about your missing funny bone.

- Leah, I wish I was more prolific and that you were a book reviewer. Thanks. :)

- Thanks, Red. For the compliment and for being older than I am. ;)

- Be happy to have you, mimi. (And unlike many board owners, I won't care if you link to your own. As long as your board isn't X-rated. Which, I'm pretty darn sure it isn't) :)

- June, if you did - I hope it went over well. Thanks for the visit. :)

- Will do, Ruth. Thankee ma'am. :)

- Ellen, I'm trusting that that's a good thing.

- Thanks, Dawn. You're nearly too kind. ;)

Thank you all, for taking the time to read and comment. I truly appreciate it.

Ava said...

Dear Frank,
You're funny.

Sounds as though life is going well for you and I am glad. :)

I will try to post on the Runboard when I can figure it out.


Frank Baron said...

Thanks, Ava (Evi). ;)

I'd love to see you there. I think you're a message board natural. (And you might just run across a couple of familiar folks from the #onlytrivia days.)

Grayquill said...

Well me a good laugh. Maybe that is because so many of the same types of moments have and are happening to me. Kids...sometimes we just have to hate them. But then I remember they are only about 30 years behind me - they will get exactly what they deserve. They will then be called quirky too.
Good post!

Frank Baron said...

Thanks for the visit and kind words, GQ.